great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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