thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
