Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
