Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Damn victory sex feels great
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
