There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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