I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
