is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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