if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
