I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
