fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
