Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
