look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize