I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
