we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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