He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
