Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
