Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize