i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
