does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
