honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
