whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
