tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
ok first of all what the fuck
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