My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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