In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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