in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
