So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I could fuck to npr.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
