Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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