my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
