Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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