what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
