it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
