We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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