matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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