Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
