i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
