have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize