My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
