Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
