apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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