Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
