so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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