if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
