I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
