So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
