I CAN MOONWALK!
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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