I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
