Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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