ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
