I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
