i think my tv is drunk
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
