is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
