She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
