Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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