Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize