my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
