you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize