i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
