after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
