Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize