Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
