Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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