Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i think my cat just said my name.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
