That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
