He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize