what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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