Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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