Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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