I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
