Swine flu. Run for my life!
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
