You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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