CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
