Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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