Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
