lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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